How I Learned to Empower Instead of Control

For a long time, I misunderstood what delegation really was. I believed it meant giving up control over the things I cared about most and then sitting back, just hoping nothing went wrong. To me, it felt risky — like rolling the dice and waiting to see how it would play out. And as someone who cares deeply about my work and the impact it has, that was never a comfortable place to be.

But over time (and through plenty of trial and error), I realized something important: delegation isn’t about stepping back and crossing your fingers. It’s about equipping and trusting the people around you to lead and grow.

When I started viewing delegation as an investment in people rather than a risk to outcomes, everything shifted. My team grew stronger. I had more capacity for the work that only I could do. And, maybe most surprisingly, I became more confident in my leadership.

To help leaders delegate with clarity, intention, and strengthen trust, I developed a framework I call The 5 D’s of Delegating. It’s a simple but powerful way for leaders to grow in their ability to delegate while empowering others.

The 5 D’s of Delegating

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1) Determine

Before you delegate anything, pause. Get clear on exactly what you’re handing off and who it makes sense to give it to.

Ask yourself:

What’s the actual task?
What does success look like?
What skills, time, or context are needed to do this well?

Also ask: Who’s ready (or ready enough) to stretch into this? Sometimes the right person is someone you’ve never considered simply because they haven’t done it before.

Delegation starts here, not with the handoff, but with choosing the right task, for the right reason, for the right person.

2) Delegate

This is the handoff moment, and it needs to be clear and complete. Share:

The what: the task itself
The why: why it matters
The when: the timeline or deadline

Be specific about what authority they have. (Michael Hyatt’s 5 Levels of Delegation can help here. Are they researching, recommending, deciding?) And make sure they have what they need to succeed: context, resources, and the reassurance that you trust them.

3) Define

Clarity doesn’t stop at the handoff. Define how you’ll stay connected:

What are the milestones or checkpoints?
When and how will you check in?
What are the boundaries or non-negotiables?

When you define these elements, it keeps things on track and prevents the last-minute “swoop in” moment. It creates a rhythm so both of you stay confident and aligned.

4) Develop

Now we’re into the growth side of delegation. Once you’ve handed off the task, your role isn’t complete unless you’ve given full decision-making authority. It's now time to support without taking over. That means:

Checking in with curiosity
Asking questions instead of giving answers right away
Coaching instead of fixing
Letting them stretch, even if their path is different than yours

Leadership has a chance to shine here. It's not doing the work yourself, but growing someone else’s capacity while they do it.

5) Debrief

This final step is one most leaders skip, and it’s where a lot of growth is hiding.

After the work is complete, take time to reflect together:

What worked well?
What was hard?
What’s worth doing differently next time?

Even when things don’t go perfectly, this step builds trust, strengthens relationships, and creates better results for the future. And it’s a great moment to celebrate wins and acknowledge effort.

And here’s the best part: once you’ve had this conversation and gathered what you’ve learned, you’re ready to step right back into the cycle at Determine.

Delegation isn’t a one-time event. It’s an ongoing process of choosing, equipping, supporting, and reflecting. Each time you move through the cycle, you and your team get stronger.

The Payoff

When you delegate with intention, you’re not losing control; you’re multiplying capacity, trust, and growth. You create space for others to step into their strengths and for you to lead at a higher level.

Delegation isn’t letting go. It’s lifting up, and when you lead this way, everybody rises.

Delegation Isn’t Letting Go. It’s Lifting Up